OK. So I have this little tradition of going through my calendar that I try to religiously write what my daily activities were for the day in and then review my life at the end of each year. This always takes place on Xanga. And I love looking back at my posts from each year, my thoughts of that year, my ideas for the future. Love it. I however, hadn't kept the greatest journal of my life this year and it was harder to tally up my life and activities. I was hoping that my one daily planner at college had more info on my work schedule but it didn't. So now I'm going to finally write my end of the 2008 year post.

Here was my year in a nutshell:

January-Ana slept over at my house for her first ever American sleepover. All of our sleepovers usually take place overseas. haha. John came to visit me at home and met my family. He wasn't allowed to spend the night so he drove 8 hrs just to see me for like half of the day. I left for Nyack College and had no idea what my future up there would be like. I was definitely a little scared stepping out into unknown territory. I went to NYC with some friends and visited the Met Museum and Chinatown. Heath Ledger also died. I cried.

February-I opened up a banking account with USAA and was able to scan my checks online instead of depositing them at the bank. Very cool. I got a Valentines day package from John and my mother. I got a monkey named Augustus and a mixed cd from John and rain boots from my mom. We had a snow day at school. Yay snow! John came to visit me for his spring break and we had lots of fun. I visited Sokuna's house for the first time and met her Cambodian family and had lunch with them. It was the start of many similar days.

March- I hopped on a train for Pittsburgh for Spring break to see mostly Katie, John and Glen. We watched the guys cry from eating atomic hot wings, went bowling, to the roller disco and had lots of fun. I took a train home to PA by myself (scary day traversing NYC's bus and train station by myself) and spoke at the Alliance Women's Eastern PA District Retreat about my summer in Cambodia.

April- Not too exciting. I'm sure more stuff happened but the most exciting was the model sader Leah and I were invited to attend as the guests of a Jewish Rabbi. haha. We met him downtown and through Craig's List.

May- I bought my plane ticket for California!! I was soo excited to go there this summer. I held an end of the year party in the basement of our dorm with a bunch of girls that I knew. We made smores, played Taboo and Apples to Apples and ate lots of yummy food. Summer began and I rejoiced greatly! Great Commission Sunday at my church had a guest speaker, who a few months later became our new pastor! I love him so much! He's a great guy. I fell on my face while babysitting for the Buehlers and was taken to the ER by my dad for fear of a concussion or serious injury. I drove my jeep to the beach for our 3rd (?) Annual Memorial Day weekend camping trip with my dad's business. It was my first time driving that long by myself and out of state! haha. The whole way home the jeep was shaking like crazy and I pretty much prayed for 3 straight hours for my life. My dear baby sister Jessica graduated from high school!

June- I went on a roadtrip with Jason and John to surprise my dear wife Katie all the way at her home in Illinois. She was so surprised I thought she was going to cry when she saw us. We went to St Louis and the City Museum and hung out at her sister's pub and watched Katie get wasted since she was 21 and legal. haha. Jk. I broke up with John. It wasn't easy to do and I was kinda sad for a long time. Goodness-I'm still sad half the time. But when I got home I got a call from my friend Sey in CAMBODIA on my cell phone and that made my year 100x better. I was so happy to hear from him. I bought a new camera!!!! I definitely needed one! I went to Creation Fest with my yg from home as a leader and also as a Compassion Advocate. It was really cool to hear the concerts, hang out with the kids and get children sponsored! My dad took us to Quantico, VA and we hung out at the Marine Corp base while he reminisced about the good old days.

July- My dad took us horseback riding in the Pocanoes. I had been wanting to horseback ride for years and I was so excited to ride for like 3 hours. I went to an Arab conference and hung out with a bunch of small Arab children while being completely engulfed in the Arab culture, language and had a lot of fun being completely outside of my culture and yet still in Lancaster. Jess and I led a VBS through my church in a local development. It was a lot of fun leading that and hopefully impacting the kids and the youth that helped. I left the following day for California where I had a lot of fun hanging out and finally meeting my penpal of like 7 years and lots of her friends and people that I have gotten to know through the years (ie Barb and Nancy and Tommy and all of Santa Cruz!). I touched the Pacific ocean for the first time ever and played in it. The beaches are so nice out there if you haven't noticed! We went to San Francisco and played there for a day. I even got the privilege of experiencing my first In-n-Out burger! I became an official Compassion Advocate. And Ana, sadly, left me for a mission trip in Ecuador. Thankfully she came back to me though!

August- I renewed my Driver's License and got a pretty picture of my taken for it. haha. I met up with John and his family at Hershey and played with them for a few hours while experiencing the wonderful quant town of Hershey, PA. Love it! My dad, David and I drove Jess to college in Georgia and left her there. It was sad! I took Alex and Bethany's senior pictures and had lots of fun doing so! And I drove up to Nyack by myself with Bethany driving in front of me so I didn't get lost. haha. I got to take the Jeep up to college! So excited!

September- Classes started. Blah. Bethany and I joined a youth group as leaders and have been so thankful we did ever since then. I also got a job at Sadies- a portrait studio. Loved it. And I started my very own radio show (soon to be accompanied by my co-host Bethany). A lot of firsts! Bethany and I also saw three free movies in the the movie theater simply for trying on jeans at AE. The greatest thing I've ever done in my life. haha.

October- Homecoming Masquerade at College. My dearest, most dearest Shadow puppy passed away. I was heart broken. And then had to go into work that day cause nobody would fill in for me. And I was angry.But thankfully I got to go on our youth group retreat and had a lot of fun with the kids and got to know them a lot better. We played taboo the whole ride home. It was the highlight of my day. And my daddy came to visit me for a weekend!

November- Not really sure what I did during my time at school but when I was home for break it was the Missions Fest at my church which is always a highlight of my year. CQ came home for the week from Macadonia! And I spoke to the kids about Cambodia. And one of the missionary families from Cambodia came to speak to the church and hang out with me for an evening! I was so happy to see them. Thanksgiving occurred of course and so did early morning black friday shopping with Bethany (her first time ever!).

December- I went to NYC with Sokuna and her sister. I also went to NYC with Bethany--in the rain and cold. I drove home from college completely by myself. It only took me 5 hours. (I'm only 3 hrs away from home...haha). Ana, my long lost sister came home!!!!!! The first day we were together we just laughed forever and ever and haha ran around my house trying to get the highest count on our pedometers. haha. I went to a fun Christmas party with the college kids from church. I spoke in front of the church about praying for a missionary family. I hate speaking in front of crowds! I drove Jess and her friends to NYC for the day. And I celebrated the New Years...twice.

Once with the fam on New Years. We sat on the couch and said 'yay happy new years' when it turned 12am. haha. And then 3 days later when Ana finally decided to come home, I celebrated it for real with her and Bethany. And we laughed for like 3 days straight.

The end.

Of 2008.

In synopsis, my year with filled with new events, a few really hard and sad losses and choices, a few roadtrips around the country, a few trips to NYC, a lot of driving myself around in my jeep, half of the year in a good relationship and half the year having to remind myself why we broke up. And a lot of having to continue to seek after God. I learned this year the great burden and need to pray for my friends and family and my eyes were opened to their issues and their need of being brought before God in prayer. The power of prayer became a common theme and topic for me. One I still need to learn. The year has been full of remembering and needing to trust God with my future when I wasn't sure what was going on or what would happen next. Many times God put something in my path and tested to see if I would trust Him without knowing what that path would lead to but knowing that I was supposed to take it. Some of them weren't easy. None of them were actually. But trusting God is always better. Always. Even when you're not sure why even looking back on it now. I learned a lot about relationships and love. Relationship with God and between others. Being loved by God and loved by others. Wanting to be loved by others but knowing that I needed to first understand better the love God has for me. I had to grow in independence this year and step out a little bit more on my own in many ways. I sat in silence a lot in my jeep, sat in silence in the rain, sat in silence and alone many times. Silence is something I'm afraid of but something I learned that I needed more of. My year was a busy year full of work, ministry, church, school and friends. And sadly but truthfully it lacked a lot of time with God. I feel that I was annoyed with people a lot this year. Not that people noticed but I just didn't feel the need to be around many people this year. People bothered me. haha I really don't know why but I feel that I was just very critical this year-maybe not a good thing always but I don't think it was a bad thing. I read a few really good books this year. I read the Circle Trilogy by Ted Dekker. It's soo good. Practically life changing. I just bought it on Amazon yesterday so I can read it everyday for the rest of my life. OK, that is the only three books that I really remember reading that impacted me. haha. Oh. I started having wrist problems after working for my dad's office all summer and my wrists still hurt a lot if I type for too long or use my wrists too much. I have tried to cut back on the computer as much as I can but it's been hard! Hopefully it'll go away eventually?

Some stats:
-Spoke publically by myself:2x
-Failed room inspection: 2x
-Worked over 80 days (I'm pretty sure it was more--this is where my calendar skills failed)
-Went to Hershey Chocolate World at least 3x
-Went out to eat with friends:32x
-Saw a movie in the movie theater: 10x
-Drank Starbucks coffee and/or hung out at Barnes and Nobles: More than I could count!

Ideas for this year:
-This past year I thought a lot about doing a year of jubilee- a year of not working and relying on God--in whatever way that means. I still don't really know what that would look like but I'm still thinking about it. I would want to start it in July when I turn 21.
-Go to Cambodia this summer as the missionary intern for 6-8 weeks. Yay!!!
-I would really love to sell some of my photos this year, whether through stock sites or a gallery or idk...something
-I keep thinking that this year should be or might be a year of solitude and silence. A year of being on my own and by myself, just me and God. A year of listening and seeking after Him and nothing else. Seeking after nobody else, Putting nothing else before Him. I'm not sure what that quite looks like but it's definitely has been on my mind lately and in the last few months.
-I want to complete the application to be a missionary via the CMA and to pass my interview. eek. God willing.
-I think I will either move off campus or become an RA this year. But we'll see what happens.

I'm not really sure what other ideas, plans or thoughts I have for this year. That is all I can think of for now...since Obama is now President I expect a lot of change and differences. haha I'm not sure if they will be good or bad but I'm just glad that I have already trusted God with my life. My life is only uphill from there!

Enjoy my life long post! I'll try to post more on Xanga this year.

Yolanda asked me if I had any new observations or conclusions about my past post. And I hadn't thought about it. I forgot that I even wrote it. So I thought about whether I had a better resolution to relationships...

And the next day I turned my radio to Christian station on my way to work where I heard a pastor talk. I usually never drive to work, nor do I listen to sermons if I am listening to the radio. But It just seemed like a good day for it.

The guy was talking about faith. He used the story of Gideon. I forgot who Gideon was. He was a man who has favor with God-but he also was a guy who doubted God a lot. And he had to be constantly reminded to trust God and to have faith. He asked God to prove He was God by giving him a miracle- Gideon asked God to make the fleece wet and the dry to be dry from the dew. So God did. Then Gideon asked God to give him a better miracle-to make the fleece dry and the ground wet. So God did....and many times God asked Gideon to do something and Gideon didn't have the faith to do it. And God was constantly reminding Gideon that he was doing God's work, and that God would help him succeed and survive the battles. Gideon was fearful because he couldn't do it on his own-But God was constantly reminding him that He was with him.

That is my conclusion. If we think we can work through relationships on our own we will fail. But God never wants us to fail in that area of life-or any area. We have to have to put our trust in God. We have to realize that nothing we do on our own will last forever-except sinning. We can do that just fine. But nothing else we can do or want to do can last that long if we don't have God going before us, between us, behind us and going for us.

But maybe this sounds more clique than real. Easier said than done. Good in theory...yet this seems failproof. God is failproof. God's love is failproof.

I'm really not a marriage humbug. Just more cautious and skeptical.